Take a seat, reader dearest. I have some neutral news for you that is probably easier to read while sitting because reading is always easier when sitting down: I am not going to be writing this weblog anymore due to a confluence of factors:
1. I have been consistently occupied Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, which were previously my days for writing about my previous weekend
2. My weekends consist almost exclusively of going out and drinking, and recently almost exclusively in Adams Morgan, which I'm embarrassed about. Writing about that is, as I have said before, cliche and lame, which I try moderately hard at avoiding, but without any semblance of success. I know, I could just try harder to go out and do touristy things and get back to the original intent of this blog, but, again, someone else is doing that now, so I am in a lose-lose situation when it comes to not wanting to appear cliche. And I am having more fun/sleep this way.
3. I got new glasses so I am now way too cool to be affiliated with something like a weblog. Actually, that's not true. It's that I look even more like an old man now so it only fits the character to avoid the internet and things like this.
Does three things count as a confluence? It doesn't matter. This was always about me and not you up to the very end, which is now.
I'll miss you, too. Well, probably not because, if you're reading this--and I know you are--I probably hang out with you so we can just talk like normal people, even though that is hard for me sometimes. But look on the bright side: now I can never answer your normal question of "what did you do this weekend?" with "read my blog." I have a nice, accentless voice, so you're welcome. And you never have to worry about how you act around me because I won't be noting every moderately funny anecdote that occurs that I can then spin in a way that makes it seem as if it were the funniest thing to ever happen to anyone, ever because I am funny like that. In fact, I live with six other people and I am easily the funniest in the house. Not debatable.
If we don't hang out, here's my phone number in case you want to know what I did this past weekend or any in the future and you are not capacitated to ask me in person: 610 217 1823. Yes, that's my real phone number. If I do not know you and I receive a call/text from you, I will respond by sending you a thank you card through the United States Postal Service. Promise. But that requires you to give me your physical address. Am I that trustworthy? Probably not.
O and then there's the prospect of me going to law school soon and all that entails, which for the next few weekends is visits to New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, and Boston. And this past one in Pittsburgh where, had I been writing this blog as was normal for almost a whole year (45 of 52 weeks. That's a 86.53% weekly post rate. What's your's, amateur?), I would have told you about how I was kind of right about Andy Warhol as I went to his museum there and there are quotes where he basically admits he is more a business person than an artist, which validates my opinion that he is a borderline talentless clown mass producing colorful images of other peoples' things for his own profit.
Plus, I made most of this stuff up over the last year, anyway, so it's more like I am just not misleading you anymore. Again, you're welcome.
