Have you ever seen the movie "Scott Pilgram vs. The World?" Did you like it? I couldn't decide at first, but I think I really do upon further reflection.
Anyway, that is how the weekend ended. Let's talk about how it passed before then:
So, normally I have thought out in advance some things to write about during the weekend that I actually end up writing about, but this weekend there weren't any real moments that I was like "oh yea I am going to make this little occurrence here sound real interesting for all my dear readers of my weblog to make it sound like I am more interesting that I am"; hence, the not writing until Wednesday. Also, there was me being really lazy on my Monday off and busyness yesterday. But over the weekend, other than the one time my sister asked if I was going to write a favorable blog post of my weekend in Bloomsburg, PA (we'll see, Les, I haven't decided yet), there really weren't any really blogworthy epiphany moments. Now that is not to say this past weekend wasn't fun or eventful. It was quite so. But it probably had to do with all the new human interaction with my sister's friends that is such a foreign concept to me here in the city about 100 times larger than there and kept me out of my own head thinking about things like how am I going to portray this weekend on the internet. Human interaction is fun. And I know that contradicts the underlying message in just about every post I have had here, but most human interaction involves small talk or awkward introductions and that is what I try to avoid because I am not comfortable with pretending to care to partake in small talk. But when alcohol is involved I usually get sufficiently socially lubricated that I come to resemble a social being. And there was a lot of the drinking up there in the Bloomsburg this weekend.
Oh, you don't know where Bloomsburg, PA is or why I would go there? Yeah, me neither. JK. My sister lives there and it is here in the center of PA:
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I hadn't been up there since her graduation and that was only for like a few hours. She had come visit me in all my awesome habitations over the years, so I thought I'd return the favor. But, really, she had told me that Bloomsburg now has a couple brewpubs so I was sold.
OK, let's talk about Friday and the size of the world. So, I rent a car here in DC and pretty much just follow a river for a few hours and end up in Bloomsburg at like 10pm. Agenda item #1: the Turkey Hill Inn brewery/restaurant. I know what you're thinking: "Jeff, how did you know about a brewpub in little ole Bloomsburg, PA?" No, you wouldn't be thinking that because you would just assume my sister that lives there would have told me. Well, she did. But not after an ex-gf of mine was like I have a cousin/uncle figure that is opening a brewpub in Bloomsburg. "What?! I have a sister that lives there!" There that covers the size of the world topic: it is small. So, we went to this brewpub and had some tasty little beers, the best of which was the IPA, FYI. Then we went to another bar in town and had some beers that were way more expensive than I ever imagined paying for a beer in central PA (I had no intention of paying more than like $2.50), but I was on vacation so I splurged.
And there went Friday. Here comes Saturday:
I was a little hungover so I detoxed with a shower, coffee, and Excedrin because we had a full day ahead of us...to drink. First was the Central Pennsylvania Wine Festival. Luckily the wine tastings were less than sip size so things didn't get out of control. They also had craft beer/art version people there too, so we mixed in a little of that. One of craft arts people there had these santa claus decorated wine bottles with christmas lights, which I thought my mom would like, so since my mom was getting knee surgery this week I thought it would be nice to get one for her, you know, for "get well soon" reasons. But I didn't have any cash. So here's what the lady tells me: "Oh well just send me a check when you get home." What!? That's crazy. Who does that?
Anyway, that reminds me: I need to send these people a check. So if you are need of some wood carved stuff please buy from those nice people.
So for dinner we decided to eat at the other Bloomsburg brewpub, Marley's. That didn't help the exhaustion factor/chances for continuing the weekend long binge. When I think of college towns, which Bloomsburg very much is, I think of pub crawls. So I proposed one for my trip there. Marley's was supposed to be the first stop on the crawlage but continuing the drinking immediately thereafter was an impossibility. So we took a break from the drink for a little before heading back out.
I don't remember the actual names of the places we went to so I will name them myself. First one was "standard all encompassing college bar complete with tiki bar, karaoke machine, and impossibly cheap beer bar." After a bucket of PA's finest, Yuengling, we were moving on.
Next was "hole in the wall with, in all probability, more mice than people bar." Classic dive bar.
Next is where things get classy. We'll call this one "oh so you want to dance and be fancy in central pa well we have that for you/oh wait you want a more well lit sports themed establishment well we have that for you too right down those stairs bar." So my hosts designated getting shots at the least favorable place and this one was the winner.
But I would have preferred the shot to be at the next bar. Well, we did actually take a shot here too, but we stayed for a few minutes more than ideal at what I will call "i know it looks like we are the type of place that has a date rape drug dispenser in the guys bathroom but you would be mistaken; however, just ask that guy over there he probably has some, and yea we did used to be a movie theater bar." Yeah, that is pretty much the definition of a bar that I would feel quite good about never experiencing. I mean this town is almost completely deserted in the summer but with how many people were at this bar you would think it was homecoming weekend. Glad that ended peacefully.
We ended at "the go-to bar with impressive beer selection and just as good food selection as was discovered the next afternoon bar." But that did not end the night. Oh no, this drink-my-way-through-bloomsburg weekend was not over. Back at my sister's drinking games commenced and continued until the sun came up and the gas station down the street closed and thus eliminated the chance for an easy bake pizza.
Given the fun, good beer, and pretty houses it would be hard for me to not write favorably of Bloomsburg, even though it pains me to. I mean I couldn't live there now, but in college or upon retirement I'm sure I could.
But if you do ever travel to Bloomsburg, please take the time to figure out why there are so many awesomely large houses and update the wikipedia page for me because I am quite curious and right now the page is inadequate. Thanks.
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