DC Area Brewery Tour 2011

Hey reader, you know how I have been using the phrase "point and case," or something like that? Well, after coming across the correct usage of this combination of words like twice over the last couple weeks, which is "case in point," I feel like an idiot. And I blame you. Why didn't you tell me that I have been making this mistake? I don't know what would make me feel less intelligent/more embarrassed, realizing the mistake on my own or someone else pointing it out to me, but a little heads up would have been nice. But I have learned from my mistake and I am all the better for it. Maybe it was better this way. 

So DC is an expensive city. It probably has something to do with the fact that it is the richest metropolitan area in the country. There are plenty of free things to do, but they are not nearly as fun as the things that cost money. Or at least this is what I tell myself as I watch my paycheck diminish swiftly upon its direct deposit into my bank account.

So let's talk about last weekend. Well, I had work on Friday but, for all intents and purposes (is this how the phrase goes?), it started on Thursday. Do you remember how I am on a social soccer league team? Well, our game was canceled Thursday so we did just the social stuff. We went to Rocket Bar in Chinatown and, somehow, in like 3 hours I spent like $50. Not sure how that is even possible.

So Friday I decided to take it easy. Since just sitting in my house watching Friends is not blogworthy, or acceptable for a 26 year-old "man," (does anyone know if in situations like this the comma goes inside or outside the "?) I decided to go see a movie at E St. Well, just like the last independent film that I saw, I do not think I know the type of person that would enjoy this film. It was called The Mill and the Cross. Basically it's about this Polish guy's interpretation of the medieval painting The Way to Calvary in which he follows everyone in the painting around just living life with some commentary by the painter himself.

Which reminds me, did I ever tell you I am half Polish. Probably not. Not sure why I am now either except for the fact that I remember thinking about writing this very sentence while watching the movie but now forgetting where I was going to go with it.

Then I decided to walk home. I would say it is about 1.5 miles, which isn't far, but there's a lot going on in that distance. But here's why I did it: there are times when I am just walking on down the street and I will think to myself how I wish I had my camera to take a picture of something random that I come across. So, since going to see a movie by oneself is not the most blogworthy occurrence, I brought my camera with me and hoped that by walking home I would come across random things to photograph and put on this, or, better yet, something wild and random would occur that I could write about.

Yeah, none of those really happened. Per usual, I just took a bunch of pictures of neat buildings along the way. But here are some of the things I did put enough thought into taking a picture of:

Occupy DC in Freedom Plaza. I appreciate the enthusiasm, I just wish there were more coherent demands (like a tax on stock trades and a hefty tax increase on the super rich).

I like both of these buildings and that they are right next to one another.

This is a house that was once a Laundry business.

I can't say that I have ever seen cars park in the middle of the street like this anywhere outside of Philadelphia.

Anyway. There is a very small area of DC in which I spend most of my free time. Most of it centers around Columbia Heights and just about all of it falls in NW. On Saturday, given the momentum I had from last weekend, I convinced my roommate to go take a brewery tour of one of DC's breweries, DC Brau. Well, while driving through NE to the brewery my NW-centric life was vindicated as there was nothing really there other than residences, which made me feel better about myself. And yeah, I know this isn't entirely true as there is H St. in NE, etc. But for the most part I haven't found a reason to spend time having fun outside of NW.

So we're at DC Brau sitting there drinking our four free samples of their beer and we realize that we are in the middle of an enjoyable situation. So we think about the potential of going to other breweries in the area. I know there are a couple more in the city proper, but they don't have tasting rooms. I do know, however, that Port City in Alexandria has one. We see that it is open until 5pm. It is 330pm. Jackpot.

Port City has the best tasting room of the DC area microbreweries. For $5 you get five tastings of their four beers and you get to keep the little glass! But DC Brau and Port City are for two very different crowds. At DC Brau, it was all young people from the city, naturally, while at Port City it was more of an older, wealthier white people crowd. So it only makes sense that DC Brau's beers are bolder and unique, while Port City's are quite subdued and by-the-book in taste. I would take one of DC Brau's over any one of Port City's, but when taken as a whole I think I would prefer Port City's.

Anyway. At this point we didn't want this budding brewery tour to end. I knew that there was a place called Mad Fox in the area. Luckily, a smartphone was in our midst, so we look that shit up and head on over there. On the way, we are stopped at a light and a Party City pops up right next to us. Halloween is right around a couple corners and we are not the costume types, so, yes, we will stop there. I spend $4 and have my costume.

Then we are walking back to the car when my roommate says something like "you will be excited at an above normal level if you look to your right." "Well, what do we have here," I exclaim. A Moe's delivery van. Yes, that Moe's. My BFF. The jesus was like, "Hey, Jeff, you know you have a pretty nice Saturday going for you? Well, it's about to get all kinds of awesomer." Needless to say, we stopped at the Moe's right up the road and enjoyed every ounce of it.

Driving onward, we come across a Dogfish Head Alehouse on our right. My roommate and I look at each other. He asks, "Are we doing this?" Yes, yes we are. And we did. Unlike most breweries, you couldn't choose your samples. For $9 they give you a standard five with their seasonal. Not our favorites.

And we still had Mad Fox to get to. At this point the smartphone was dead but luckily we had looked it up earlier. This one is in downtown Fairfax, which is a fancy pants locale, and the brewpub was the nicest brewery that I have ever been to in terms of fanciness of the people and decor. And the beer was all right. We are not yet satisfied enough to call it a day yet so we ask the bartender if there are any other brewpubs nearby. He says Sweetwater Tavern and gives us directions since we are smartphoneless.

Predictably, we get lost. How did people do it before smartphones? Probably the same way we did it: stop at your local gas station and hope someone there knows what you're talking about. I ask the attendant lady if she knows where it is but she does not. What we think is lucky for us, this random guy directs us there. Except he directs us in the opposite direction. And we end up in Clarendon. Which is not where we want to be. Ever. Now this is not that far from home, but you're crazy if you think we're giving up. We have until 1am to get there and we eventually do after calling them and asking how we arrive at their establishment.

I've actually been to Sweetwater before (my growler is from there--which I had every intention of bringing with me to DC Brau but DC does not consider pop-top growlers to be closed containers. Classic case of not understanding what 'closed' means.) but they actually have all different kinds of beer on tap this time. But they are similarly as bland as the others because I am a beer snob and have these types of opinions. But it was worth it all the same.

Now I know what you're thinking, "I can't believe you drank all that and drove around!!" OK, take it easy. We only had little 4oz samples all day. Over the course of 10 hours we had the equivalent of 7 beers, which, high horse rider, is below the legal limit.

Also what you're thinking: "How does one cap off a wonderful day like that?" Chinese food from Johnnys on 14th. The go-to for cheap food in Columbia Heights. No delivery, though, so if you live within walking distance consider yourself very lucky.

Then I went to Lou's and acted all American and watched professional football on Sunday, which sounds in character, but is actually out as the only reason I pay any attention to professional football is for fantasy football, which with Moe's is one of the best things to ever happen to me.

And there went my pay check.