All right, I'll catch you up on the weekend I passed on writing about: it included five-hour energy drinks, Town Tavern, my roommates walking up to ladies they think are Japanese and since they speak a little of it they start using it to them who turn out to be Korean from Virginia, snow, throwing snowballs at cars, losing my friends while throwing snowballs at cars but finding a random person there staring at me whom I then befriended or at least I think that's how it happened, Honey Pig Korean food, a casino party at my house, and Town Tavern again for the NFC Championship game. That's about it. Not really blogworthy, so not blogged about.
My aversion to appearing cliche or unoriginal is no secret; hence, I no longer write about going out and experiencing all this city has to offer because a more well-known DC publication has taken the idea. DCist has a thing called New Kid in Town where this person goes somewhere touristy in DC every weekend and writes about it once a week. I mean I am still original because I didn't know of anyone that had done it before me, but now that someone else has taken my idea I can concentrate on being a better social human being, which inevitably means going out on the weekends. I don't provide people with random ideas or insights into all the things to do in the city anymore, but I am a lot better at being funny and a lush than I am a travel writer. And now there is this new kid in town who writes about that stuff for you. If you want to read about what it's like to be an awkward 26 3/4 year old and growing male in Washington, DC living in Columbia Heights that leaves the house primarily to drink elsewhere on the weekend, this (see what I did there?) is your blog. Sorry, Beth. I hope you don't think too much less of me.
Anyway.
Yeah, I drink too much. On the weekend.
It's only a matter of time that someone of consequence reads this and the repercussions of that will be made apparent to me. I hope jesus doesn't have the internet.
Let's review what Bloomsburg, PA is: a nice little college town in central Pennsylvania that requires you to drive through areas of earth that inspire horror movies until you reach this little oasis of acceptability in the vast expanse of trees and republicans. Oh and my sister lives there.
We get in to the b-burg at 10:30pm, just about 4 hours after leaving Washington, DC. There is a nice little bar void of college students in a college town called Russell's, so me, my roommate, my sister, my other sister, and my one sister's friends go there. I remember b-burg having more expensive drinks than one would assume a college town in central PA having, but I was kind of mistaken. We drank several of them each and called it a night. I came back, passed out on the futon, and woke up face down on the floor.
When one thinks central PA, they almost inevitably think Japanese food, so, of course, we went to a hibachi restaurant for lunch. And then we drove around campus. And then we watched the movie 50/50.
My favorite food is burritos. What's yours? Yeah, those are delicious, but not as good as a burrito. I just had one for lunch today, actually. You know the last time I had a burrito before that? Saturday early evening at one of those classic little college town burrito joints called Ready-Go Burrito. As a burrito aficionado, I definitely recommend this place if you managed to survive the trip through central PA and end up in Bloomsburg (don't stop at the Stone Castle Inn, though. But you'll know that if you see it. Its proximity to the strip club is enticing, but there's most likely a reason there are no windows in that motel.).
I've had a couple interesting experiences with five hour energy drinks (see: above and the post with college in the title) but this one with a six hour energy drink did not yield the same results, which is probably a good thing. We were tired so we got one and I was wide awake and coherent for the whole b-burg bar crawl. There was the bar with the all the race car memorabilia where I learned that in some places if you put an empty bottle on a bar it means "one more please" (if you do not want another, put a coaster on top. what to do if there weren't any coasters was not clarified); Turkey Hill brewery where they had a super long wait to eat and a very good beer sampler; Marley's where they also brew their own beer, have a really good sampler and wings, and where a stranger inevitably insinuated that my roommate and I are lovers; Good Old something or something where they charged you $4 to get in and then only $1 for a pitcher once you do that; Hess's where it was pretty much just us in there like the last time; a bar called Hardware, which it wasn't the last time I was there, where you paid $5 to get in and get 10 pennies to exchange for that many drinks at the bar and where my roommate was abused by a female on said bar and given some alcohol for his troubles; Capitol having an irrationally long line, thankfully; a hookah bar that didn't serve alcohol; and Russell's again.
But a night like that can't end any other way than waiting for pizza for like one hour playing my version of innumerable questions. Good pizza, too.
And there went b-burg 2012. But not before stopping at the chinese buffet by the walmart, which had all three criteria needed to be considered an acceptable chinese food buffet: 1. sushi; 2. hibachi station; 3. self-serve ice cream machine; (my personal fourth criteria: fried squid--also met). Most other aspects of a chinese buffet are the same so the existence/variance of the above criteria is what really sets apart the more than worthy chinese buffets from the less worthy ones (all chinese buffets are worthy, FYI).
Then we are walking out of the establishment, passing by the requisite gumball and such machines when I see a little University of Tennessee helmet in one of those machines that dispenses little plastic football helmets, usually NFL teams. I ask my sister for 20 quarters so I can try to get it but she didn't have 20 quarters for some reason, or any for that matter. My roommate, who is also a graduate of the University of Tennessee, says he has three quarters, which is exactly enough, and that this must be a sign. He puts them in little slots, turns the knobby thing, a helmet drops, which he sees to be white and covers immediately to build the suspense...It's a little University of Tennessee helmet!! I wouldn't believe it either if I didn't see it, and I say as much.
And then we drive back to Washington, DC.
If you scored Japanese, Tex-Mex, American, Italian, and Chinese foods for the weekend, you are correct.
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